One of the most emotional events a person can get into is a separation with his or her significant other. Even if you have been with your partner only for a couple of years rather than spending twenty years together, the pain coming from the severance from that person can be rather severe. Some people can get over a separation within a couple of weeks whereas others will be struggling with depression caused by such an unpleasant twist in their lives for years.
If you are coming through such a difficult period in your life as well, you should know about doing things which you can worsen your situation even more.
Spending time together
One of the worst possible situations is living together after the severance. Needless to say, it is rather hard for the both sides. You are suffering seeing your ex-partner moving on with his or her life, whereas this person is suffering realising he or she is the cause of your sufferings.
Yet, some people who do not have to continue living together are not resigning from a possibility of spending some time with their ex-partners. For instance, they are still visiting parties held by their common friends. This can be even worse if you decide to see each other not accompanied by other people.
The problem is such a behaviour is the growth of your emotional connection with this person, although the relationship is already over. Just imagine hugging the person before saying goodbye to him or her realising there is nothing between you anymore. This can be a pure hell for anyone who is still in love with one’s ex-partner.
Seeking a contact with your ex-partner
It is quite possible that your ex is not thus willing to spend time with you but you are doing your best to maintain any possible contact with this person which is a huge mistake. Some people are really seeking attention of their previous partners. They will be writing to their exes telling them all the news of their lives willing to show them that they can still be friends. Some people will continue bombarding their exes even if those are totally ignoring them.
Such a behaviour is putting you in the situation of constant expectation. You will be waiting for something which will never happen and, thus, won’t let yourself to move forward with your life.
Believing you are real soulmates
Some people tend to believe there is no one in the entire world able to understand their exes thus well as they can. It might actually happen that you are still close with your ex-partner and you might be sharing a lot of private stuff with this person. Yet, since he or she decided to end your romantic relationship, there is really no point in feeding your illusions about this person.
If you really had been real soulmates, in all likelihood, your relationship would have never been finished by your ex in the first place.
Pursuing your ex-partner
Pursuing the person with whom you had a relationship means your attempts to meet him or her pretending it happens accidentally. Urges to do not only will not help you to get over your previous love story, but they are also actually a symptom of an unhealthy attachment you have developed to that person.
Yet, you might not be trying to meet your ex, although you are stalking this person on various social networks keeping a track of all the changes that are happening in his or her life. You might have a hope that this person is still suffering because of the separation, still, one may have already recovered after this dramatic event or even started a new relationship.
Definitely, such a behaviour will only increase your pain, so, if you want to forget about your ex, you should help yourself by avoiding any information about that person.
Switch to your friend
Some people are using compensatory relationships as a strategy for healing their broken hearts after a separation. Such attempts rarely work out and can actually cause even more problems since you are obviously not prepared for a new relationship yet, while another person might grow strong feelings for you.
Still, there is an even worse scenario. Suffering from the separation, you might subconsciously turn to your friend with whom you have never had any romantic relations. This a rather bad idea, since, presumably, you will not be able to offer real romantic feelings to this person, however, your friendship will cease to exist as well.
Registering on dating services
You already know the reason for not being involved into a new relationship shortly after finishing a previous one. As we have mentioned it above, in all likelihood, you will be still thinking about your ex whereas your partner will be suffering feeling that.
Meeting new people with the help of dating services doesn’t take a long time, so you will be prone to making even more mistakes if use decide to us this option. Do not think a new relationship will help you to forget the previous one, you will just give yourself more pain comparing a new partner to whom you do not feel anything deep to the person you still love.